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I Refuse

              13-th. August. 2019.

In the very early morning of this Sunday's dew I refuse. I refuse in two ways with my own manner. Absolutely refuse in two absolute things. First, I must admit and confess to the others that I was born in Eastern Europe at the very closure to the boundary with the Orient, now the country belongs to the European Union. Understand me somehow, I am not guilty, nobody could be pronounced guilty, because of the fault where was born, maybe because nobody chooses place of birth humanself. Maybe, in the very beginning God has chosen His own place to be born. Now, I follow my thought with both main questions.
    At the start up, I must refuse to feel myself as an European, but I don't refuse this fact. After the matter about European Union, it follows my first main refusal. I am against somehow with my soul and my heart, and I don't agree with  " "The Irish Law" ", if I can include my own term' name. I refuse to be "coupled" /married/ according to some kind of a new human' "law". At the same time I must confess I was born with a family, father and mother. Somehow, I was not born with the purpose or mission to be a father, thus I have not to be married too. I promise to succeed with life-doing really alone. I remember my pray in Notre Damme as I have written it with my own hand: "God, help me to do it alone.". Then I meant me to succeed with life alone. I minded it possible, thoughtful and wanted by me. I meant nothing alse than living lonely life as long as God would agree with me. I really want no one to mention me as a spouse, nobody to live together with. I am sorry, with a little reverance and a little bit of joking, maybe because I am jealous to the people I lived with (when this has happened - to live with anyone). I think deeply in my heart, I was born to live alone. Later I will discuss this "law"-ing in spousing in my written works often.
   The other main thing I refuse is the opinion of absolutism. Actually, one aspect of the absolutism I refuse. Startly, I agree the birth is absolute. I don't think we have had previous lives. I don't believe in many re-births of our souls. At the same point, I don't agree the death is absolute. We, huimanbeans, have souls indeed, firstly. And this soul, once given to us by Lord and Holy Spirit, when we were born, has the feature never to pass away. The soul never dies. The soul is stable longer in time than the whole universe. Only God, Lord Himself, is living longer than our souls. This feature of our souls is impossible to be explained without religious character with us. That is why I will never be atheist. I am a Christian by birth and forever, even I am too bad Christian meantly to my sins, I am sinful, sinful enough for the last round of the hell.
           Thank you, Lord for giving me power and thought to write these so brave words. Amen.


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раздел: Проза -> Произведения на чужд език
публикувана на: 2019-09-02
прочитания: 77
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